By Dr Mary on January 14, 2012
The past two and a half days I’ve seen a handful of thankful patients in my Baja officina and that is always rewarding. But the luxurious gift that I’ve given myself is the hours that I’ve spent playing my music to the sea. My new travel banjo and my guitar are such comforting travel companions. This morning, as I rehearsed Carulli’s duet in D for my show later this month, I used the flying fish as my practice distraction. I always look for something to distract me as I practice to prepare me for the distraction of an audience. Those tiny little silver flicks, hundreds of them, flying just above the water and then diving back shallow to the surface were just the right distraction to keep me giggling as I watched the birds flying and waiting for the fish to come to the surface. The pelicans hung in the wind past my terrace many times, hovering as if they weren’t moving at all. The wind was high and the sky was filled with kite surfers today and that served as good distraction, too. What a wonder life God has blessed me with.
I’ve averaged at least 4 hours of rehearsal each day that I’ve been here and it’s been heavenly. I am playing a little morning music for the brunch at Road Runner Cafe tomorrow morning and I think, now that I’ve taken a long hot bath, I may just read before going to bed early. That’s an unusual twist! Thanks for reading and I hope to share my new music with you soon.
Posted in Dr Mary's Daily Musings, Los Barriles |
By Dr Mary on November 1, 2011
Scott Bennett (holding the 12-string guitar in this picture) was one of the most intuitive and creative musicians that I’ve worked with. He played many bass and guitar parts and even some percussion on several of my CD projects. He was kind, gentle and expressive beyond expectation with is music. He didn’t wave his ego when working with me in Jim Ratts’ recording studio. Laughter was just part of his personal vocabulary and he used it often. His hugs were grand, yet soft and he only wanted the best for those around him. After a long battle he died on Saturday. It’s hard to imagine putting together my recordings without “Scotty sprinkles”. He’ll be missed and my heart is heavy.
Posted in Dr Mary's Daily Musings |
By Dr Mary on September 25, 2011
LOVE is the missing link!
I’ve thought a lot about why Mother’s residency at Heidi’s hasn’t been a complete success. I researched all of the local homes, visited many, even had Mother in three different homes before settling on Heidi’s. The owner is approachable, agreeable with special needs and even seems to act with love as part of the motivation. But HIS hands and heart are not the ones actually providing the care. That care is being provided by CNAs and nurses who have been educated in the mediocre philosophy of today’s healthcare. My personal opinion is that the common professional philosophy taught today and our society’s accepted motivation for working are not based on love and this is the primary problem with the healthcare and elder care in this nation right now. That’s why I call it mediocre. What is ANYTHING, if not done with love? If CNAs begin with love in their hearts, twelve hour shifts taking care of too many needy people will strip you of that flaw. And this idea that there is no good place to honestly have attention, loving attention when our older people have begun to fail just makes me ache inside. There are places and people to take care of feeding and cleaning up your messes and occasionally keeping you aimed in the right direction. But, what would happen to a child who was simply cared for in the lowest level needed to sustain life? We already know. We’ve all seen the studies on orphanages with little help and loving man power. You have a stunting of emotional and mental health. But no one jumps to sedate a child like we do our elderly. It infuriates me that nearly every time Mother has faltered, the first suggestion is some sort of sedation!
What she needs is loving attention. Doctors and nurses who should know have warned me about the bonding that needs to happen when someone goes to assisted living. Taking them out even for dinner and definitely over night can make them NOT bond with the facility they have moved into. Well, I’ve thought a lot about this and bonding is for people who love you. Bonding is earned. Please don’t misunderstand, I think that Mother is in the very best place available. But they have had two years to bond with her and frankly, at least for Mom, the bonding there is not an issue. One doctor told me that she would be confused if I brought her home and tried to go back and forth. So far over the past three weeks, she has been a wonderful resident at home, getting up only twice each night. As for Heidi’s, well, she’s not doing more poorly that she had before this venture.
There are issues with her medication that I still have to have energy to address. But for now, we’ll just proceed with God’s love in our hearts that will guide our actions.
As your parent gets older, please think creatively and about a way to make them feel loved as they begin to fail. Think of the hours they spent holding and loving you as a child and imagine the satisfaction of that full circle. It doesn’t have to consume your life. Make loving decisions to be kind to yourself and to them in making these decisions.
Keep love at the front and behind everything…
Posted in Dena, Dr Mary's Daily Musings |
By Dr Mary on September 25, 2011
Here’s one of the Spanish songs I just finished recording, Caballo Viejo
There are ultimately THREE projects that I’m presently close to finishing, “Reluctant Farewell to a Dear Heart”, the collection of classical originals mixed between my versions of several traditional Spanish romantic songs that I sing on, and my originals that I sing and have put a bit of a soft bluegrass twist to by adding Ernie Martinez playing from his soulful toes on the Dobro, mandolin and metal string guitar.
I finished up the final recording on the classical/Spanish passions this past week. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the absolutely wonderful recording studio, engineers and musicians I’ve found to work with on the front Range. Maybe it’s that Jim and Salli are salt-of-the-earth kind of souls and they draw the same to their projects. Maybe it’s because Jim’s from Kansas, originally, and we seem to speak the same language. Scott Bennett from Golden has added just the right amount of sprinkles to the Spanish pieces with bass and percussion. Scott took nothing away from my original ideas, only adding their little magic in a very subtle way. Javier de los Santos also joined in and added some Spanish leads on these songs. It was fun working with both of them and Jim Ratts’ mixes makes him the glue that holds it all together and brings it in as the wonderful project it’s been.
Singing in Spanish and playing what seemed to be odd rhythms to this farm girl from Kansas was a great challenge for me. So bringing this to an end is actually a new beginning for me, the beginning of the joyful notion that I can do any kind of music that I’m drawn to. NOW, I wonder what will be NEXT!!
Posted in Dr Mary's Daily Musings, Dr Mary's Thoughts about Her Songs |
By Dr Mary on September 25, 2011
This Sunday morning I thank God for the multitude of blessings he has afforded me. Last night as I tucked Mother into bed, we did the normal routine, teeth out, hearing aids off, bathe all the special spots, “fancy pants”(depends) on, commode next to the bed. I heated two rice packs and put one on her feet and straighten out her crippled hand on top of the other draped across her chest. She looked up sweetly and said,”Always remember how much I love you”. After sharing prayers, I calmed her worried heart and confirmed that she was at home and that she was going to sleep all night, knowing that she is loved…I played my guitar as she drifted off to sleep. No one in the world had a better moment than I had in that one.
Love the people around you while you still can.
Posted in Dena, Dr Mary's Daily Musings |
