In early May I was traveling over to Denver for a Chiropractic seminar. I had put the finishing touches on Lazy Waters and had been fighting back the rushing notes that had been haunting me for the second movement of The River, Under the Bridge. I still couldn’t play Lazy Waters as well as I wanted to. The urge to compose something new, to yield to the inner urgings, before completing another piece is such a temptation and hard to resist. Under the Bridge was begging to be born.
The feel of this song came rushing into my mind the like the waters it is meant to express. The notes were pushing through but I wasn’t as sure about the tempo. So I decided to stop at the Bear Ranch rest stop, east of Glenwood Springs. I sat by the water, under the bridge and watched and breathed and listened. I let myself be lost in the water as it washed by. There were little twirls and places at the edges that ran a bit more slowly. But, the main body of water moved at a constant pace and honestly was running much faster than what I had thought from my imagination. Maybe it was the water level. Maybe I was meant to see THAT bridge and THAT river as an inspiration. I’m sure that there are bridges with water that barely moves under them. But, under THIS bridge on THIS day, the water moved with a deliberate pace and barely wavered. My hope is that my musical depiction of the water under the bridge will give you the same feeling that I was lost in that day.
I want to dedicate this piece and Lazy Waters to my good friend and Mentor, James Smith, without whose encouragement and support I’d not have begun writing my compositions down so that others can be able to play them, as well. If you want a copy of the manuscript, let me know. It is in tablature and notation.
Thank you for caring, listening and reading…..Please love it….
I’m happy to tell you that I’ve been playing a lot. Though you wouldn’t know it based on my writing delinquency here at the blog. I’ll be playing at Cleland Park, tomorrow at noon in Delta, Colorado for about an hour during the yearly Deltarado Days celebration. Thank you for caring and for reading what I’ve written and listening to what I record.
When James Smith came for the master’s classes at Mesa State University, I presented Lazy River to him and Endre Balogh to listen to. It was to be the first of three pieces, collectively called The River. I’ve changed the name of it to Lazy Waters and have written and nearly finished the transcription, with Javier de los Santos’ help for the second piece, Under the Bridge. In the Rapids is soon to come. I plan to write it when my family goes to Iowa ahead of me the first part of August.
As you listen to Lazy Waters, close your eyes and imagine the river. The river, where the water barely flows, where it backs up into pools, circling around and then eventually takes off again. The river, where there the water has little motivation, but keeps moving in that eventural ever-forward direction.
When I play this song for my patients in the office while they are resting with therapy, they are often snoring by the end. It always makes me giggle just a little. It’s hopefully NOT boring, but utterly calming and relaxing. The tempo is played at the ultimate resting heart rate of 60 beats per minute. According to my daughter, Stephanie, it’s the perfect song to fall asleep to. **sigh* I do hope that you enjoy it.
OH, and by the way, I have only a couple of changes to make to the written transcript. If you would like a copy of Lazy Waters, it will be both in tablature as well as notation, with lots of direction for right and left hand playing. I hope to do a tutorial video on Youtube to make it especially easy to make your own.
Well, my compositions are making me crazy, again. I can’t sleep for the notes flying through my brain. It’s exhausting. It’s exciting. It’s inspiring. But, it makes me feel so out of control. I have no reins over these waves of insistence that come from inside of my head, my heart, my soul… The latest are classical guitar instrumentals, flooding my every waking minute, stealing my attention from the moments of the day, capturing my sleep as they perfect themselves. Of course these compositions begin as things that I can’t possibly perform to begin with. The actual pieces as I hear them in my brain come quickly, almost to the point of absolute inspiration. I couldn’t possibly come up with this stuff all on my own! But, I chase the tune like chasing butterflies. Elusive as it seems at first, it begins to gel on the guitar, and the bass and other accompaniment come flying through my fingers. I’ve learned from experience to begin writing on tablature paper soon or this treasure will quickly flutter away and be lost forever. I’ve also learned that it takes at least 600 times of playing the piece before it begins to really sound like the thing pin-balling in my brain.
All of this is moving and emotional in itself. But, then the worst is to come. After I can finally play it, at least to the point of hearing what each note should be and the time of it all, it needs to be completely written down!! **SCREAM**!@#$% The next new and wonderful piece is trying to force its way into my brain, as I’m finding the focus to take my notes from the tab paper and transfer them into Sebelius, the wonderful computer program that my husband purchased for me to use. I wonder what Fernando Sor or Bach would have thought of the computer programs?? In some ways, it makes musical life simple. All you have to do is point and click to create your manuscript. But, I’m a hands-on kind of girl with troubles keeping my eyes straight on a page. They’ve had rumblings of mild dyslexia. So, even after enlarging the screen, the lines of the staff and tab are floating oddly in front of my eye and it’s difficult to point and click to the correct position! JUST GIVE ME A PIECE OF PAPER AND A PENCIL!!!
So, this is my struggle, today…trying to transfer this new composition, Under the Bridge the second of the suite I’m writing called The River. The first was Lazy River. The audio is not perfection, and the tempo is slower than it should be. It’s at 100 and sounds more like the river under the bridge at about 116. But, it’s good enough to take the notes from, and maybe you’ll get a rush out of being one of the first to actually hear this inspired piece. Happy Fourth of July!!
Click here to listen –> Under the Bridge <– Click here to listen
To hear an audio clip of “Oh, Daddy” just scroll down and left click on the red title above the lyrics below. Happy Father’s Day!….
Today of course was Father’s Day. I missed you, Dad. But Mother was here, and she’s doing better. sigh…It was a good music and family day. The girls are home where I can love them, and I’m writing some new songs. I was so happy to have been asked to lead the music and do several solos at the Baptist church on 13th Street in Delta. Sometimes I forget how fulfilled I am by sharing with a church family. I did “Lay Your Healing Hand Upon Me” and told everyone that it was your favorite gospel song that I had written.
In honor of Father’s Day I posted this song that I wrote for you, Dad. Three years ago I hadn’t been able to play my guitar for 3 years, after I hurt my arm in a bad fall. When I accidentally realized I could play again, though I started far behind where I had previously left off, I was was filled with joy and a grateful heart. I realized that my blessing lost was found once again and I just had to write a song for my daddy who always beamed when I would sing. I wish you were here so I could sing it to you in person. But maybe you have your own information highway where you are and you’ll catch this blog. Here’s to you, Daddy. Love you…Miss you…from your Mary
Oh, Daddy, I wish you could see
How my life turned out to be.
I’d like to pick up the phone and give you a call,
And tell you about it all.
I know you always loved to hear
The heart of my guitar.
You always told me
I could be a star.
Well, I’m back to playin’ my music
It’s something I have to do.
Here’s to you, Daddy.
This one’s for you.
Oh, Daddy, if you were here
I’d introduce you to my daughters
and your laughter they’d hear.
They listen when I say
I wish that you could see
All the treasures God’s given me.
You know I finally found love
With a really good man.
He’s a farm boy like you
And on strong virtues he stands.
He lets me be what I need to be
I think you’d like him, Dad.
He takes good care of me.
I close my eyes and right in front of me
I can see you just the way you used to be.
Broad shoulders, huge hands and a bright wide smile
Living life large all the while.
Well, Mom lives with us and thinks of you each day.
She’s got a lot of friends, and I think that she’s okay.
Spends a lot of time with my little girls.
But it’s not quite the same without you in our world.
Oh, Daddy, I wish you could see
How my life turned out to be.
I hope you’re watching now where ever you are,
And I’d like to think you’re not that far.
I hope you’re listening now wherever you may be.
Oh, Daddy, I hope that you can see.
Well, it’s been that time of year, again…a time of playing hours every day, scrambling to please the professors at the masters classes at Mesa State University. James and Endre come once a year. It’s always nerve racking because I feel like a child hoping for approval, but yearning to do better so needing the guidance. After spending time with James and Endre, I always leave with a newly inspired and fresh look at what I’ve been doing. They are kind in their suggestions and if one can put their creative ego aside and listen to what they have to offer, great things can come from their close look at what you play for them.
This year I chose two pieces to play for the masters classes. I played “Un Dia de Noviembre”, written by Leo Brouwer. But I put my own spin on it by adding romantic lyrics that lead you through a day in November that we spent together that is like no other day before or since. They had me strengthen the bass notes on the first part of the piece, which rounded the sound and made it a full arrangement. It’s not easy to sing while playing classically. So I was very pleased that I am finally at a point to pull it off.
Then there was another of my own compositions, “The Lazy River”, the first movement of three. The last two are in the making and I will talk about them in a later blog. I wrote the “Lazy River” piece just weeks before needing to perform it. My crazy mind always creates things that I can play so completely…..in my HEAD! But, mastering the singing tones of each note, actually bringing them up from my toes and out of the guitar, itself, is always just an emotional endeavor. I set the goal of playing it at least 20 times each day for the 3 weeks prior to the classes. It may never be exactly the sweet sounds inside my head. But, I think that the concentrated effort paid off. Writing and then mastering a piece is a little like giving birth…without the contractions of course…but with anxious anticipation of the event and the work to produce the final outcome, followed by the exhausted exuberant joy…
Lazy River had to be notated for the master’s classes. The professor has to be able to look at your music and play from it to show you what he’d like to hear. Javier de los Santos helped me with this. I didn’t have a good enough computer program to do what I wanted to do. Javier does. So, I put each note into tablature notation by hand and then recorded the piece using a metronome to be sure that the timing would be more easily deciphered. Then after Javier worked at getting it all put into the computer we sat for several hours playing it and being sure that the music was written as correctly as possible. Javier did a great job and aside from a couple of measures that we need to change, I believe that most guitarists would be able to follow the page. We took the painful time to write in fingerings and positions and the final version has both tablature and notation. My goal is to have a youtube of each of my pieces and then another youtube to help tutor anyone who would like to learn the piece and a way to download the music for a very low price. What a wonderfully romantic notion to think that someone might play one of my pieces…someone who doesn’t even know me…but who has fallen in love with my music the way that I fell in love with Fernando Sor’s music.
I will add a video of these pieces soon. Thank you for reading and for your patience with my not writing so often. I’m nothing without someone to write and sing and play to! THAT’S YOU!!
We spent the afternoon bouncing down the hard and icy snow slopes near Ward Lake on the Grand Mesa. We live at the foot of Grand Mesa, beyond the foot hills that are called the Dobies. Our home is about 5,500 feet, where the weather is warm and sunny. The top of the Mesa is 10,000 feet and usually has a snow pack of 10 feet or more. It takes us about 30 minutes or so to get to the top. In our temperate valley I sometimes forget how beautiful the snowy winter wonderland is that we live so close to. It had warmed up to just above freezing, so the snow was packed and hard as we slid down on the toboggan. Actually, we shot down the hill and unfortunately slammed into the bumps in the snow and then went flying before slamming once again with ear muffs sailing. Niki’s chin smashed into the top of Stephanie’s head. Sobbing, we limped away and finally drowned our tears in chocolate almond ice cream topped with marshmallow cream at Aspen Trails. It’s probably best that we do this only once a year!
There are few songs in my performances that I didn’t write. “What a Wonderful World”, written by Bob Thiele and George David Weiss is one that I could have easily written from the expression of my own grateful heart. The only difference would be that this song repeats several times that “I think to myself, what a wonderful world”. I guess that the fact that I’m singing it means that I not only think these words to myself, rather I really want to shout this sentiment. Ideally, I’d sing this to move the world, to move YOU, as well.
It truly IS a wonderful world! Looking around me I have a choice of what to see. I can see all the frightening and sad realities, all the reasons to cower from the gifts of the world or I can see the beauty and blessings of the world. I am surrounded by all sorts of negativity, really. I could be motivated by news broadcasts, my cluttered home, that new wrinkle that I’ve seen in the mirror, the aches in my hands after I’ve played my guitar too many hours…But, I choose instead to see the special spirits of the patients that I care for. I see the beautiful smiles of my caring daughters as they look to me for guidance. I see the peaceful eyes of my mother who has been through so much this year. I see the needy and loving eyes as my dogs look up into mine. I hear and see the hopeful signs of Spring, all around, the doves calling from the roof crests, the budding trees, the greening grass, the Spring breezes…
While I was in Mexico this past week, I saw several hundred dancing dolphins right in front of my condo next to the sea! There was a grey whale right in the middle of this frolicking fiesta. I couldn’t believe my fortune to be looking at the sea while learning “What a Wonderful World” and be hit in the face by such an incredible sight!
This is such a quiet expression, a song of inner peace. And though it’s so understated, such an expression of calm, I hope that it leads you to open your eyes….LOOK! Over there! Isn’t it AMAZING?! Can you beLEIVE it? HOW WONDERFUL is this world that we live in. I just know that YOU, as I, have over looked something awesome…something that surrounds us each and every day. How wonderful the life we’ve been given. What a truly wonderful world.
Friends and patients urged me to do an audition for America’s Got Talent. An interesting consideration. How would being successful in something like this effect my life? I talked it over with each of my children, one that understood immediately and didn’t like the idea and one that just wanted a ride in a limo so thought it was cool. I know that the chances of being noticed, even though I may be deserving, are very slim. Popularity is just a flash in the pan, anyway. I thought about the pressure of being judged and criticized and time away from my family. My ego can take it and it would surely be a growing experience. So, intrigue and the thirst for adventure is probably the obvious drive. But, the time away from my girls is the most suffering sacrifice that I can imagine out of the whole thing.
Given the unlikely odds, I decided to take a crack at it. If God really wants me to experience this, it will happen. It won’t break my heart if the phone doesn’t ring. I have to admit, though, it would be nice to be noticed after so many years of hard work. Just thinking about the thing is a bit of a rush. I guess it’s like playing the lottery…and about the same or worse odds, I’d imagine. **chuckle**
Simply the audition experience was good and growing. Ashley
Furniture store, Grand Junction, Saturday just after 6AM. Doors to open at 9:00. The thermometer read 25 degrees at home. When I got there the wind was blowing and people were huddled all around the outside of the
building, some in sleeping bags, some without coats or gloves. They had probably been nervous as I and hadn’t slept much and just finally got up and came without much thought to anything but what they would do for their performance. Some had been there over night, some since midnight and some from earlier morning than I.
Most were young people, 10 to 20 yrs. old, mostly girls…wo
rried about whether their earrings matched their dress or whether to wear their hair behind or over their ears. I felt like I was surrounded by young budding women who were hungry for encouragement, a kind hand on the shoulder and a loving smile. A young woman just in front of me had nothing on her legs and had goosebumps as large as the dimples in her knees, no coat, no gloves, only a slinky dress with a thin shawl. She insisted t
hat she wasn’t cold for the first hour. I asked where she lived. It was close by. I insisted that she go get warmed up and get on a coat. I would happily hold her place in line. Without hesitation she and ran off to return about an hour later bringing me a much needed mocha to warm me up, as well. The people standing in line became imme
diate, yet temporary friends, sharing our dreams, our histories, and all of us taking care of each other.
Once inside, we all took turns flashing our 90 seconds of “WOW” for the cameras. Some were shaking and shy and others were bold and possibly didn’t know how they sounded to others. There was a fellow with a raccoon puppet and some kids on bikes and a few fellows rapping.
But mostly there were singers, singers that had to sing with no accompaniment. Some couldn’t carry their key, but mostly I just wanted to reach out and give everyone a rousing cheer and a big hug for being brave enou
gh to get u
p there and do it.
My downfall was the cold. Aside from the problems with keeping a nylon string guitar in tune through many temperature changes in a few hours, there was my hand…Many of you know about my fall of 6 years ago and that I couldn’t play my guitar for more than 3 years. You kno
w that my left hand is still numb sometimes and that it can cramp up. The 3 hour wait in the freezing wind chill and then the 30 minute wait in the warehouse before going out on the make-shift stage in the showroom wrecked my fingers. I kept trying to warm them under my sweater as I waited in line behind the stage. I could feel how cold they were and how numb the side of my hand was. I haven’t had problems with it, even with all of t
he concerts that I’ve given. So, I was surprised by this cropping up and the last minute and felt a terrible panic build in my chest.
I stepped out, did a quick check of my guitar and then played a little to be sure it was in tune. I felt my left hand constrict. I tried to begin again and it tightened. sick sigh. My stomach turned and for a moment I thought about stepping off stage. But, I put down my head
and began my song from the vocal part, where the guitar is easier and the speed not as demanding. By the end of the piece I was able to play without any problems. But, I had missed the “WOW”. At least that’s how it felt.
Returning home we found that we could submit o
n-line, so we did. Again, I can’t imagine that everyone even gets heard in this crazy batch of dreams that people send in. But, maybe in all of it I’ll have made a new friend. Maybe I’ll have encouraged a shy young lady who needed my support on Saturday. Maybe someone will see me in a new way or see me fo
r the first time. You know that I’ve always said that I don’t know WHY, but I know that I MUST be heard. Maybe God will let me know the WHY some day. I hope you enjoy the video. Rate it for me…But only if you like it! **chuckle**
I posted this on my blog for Mom and felt that it really belonged both places. You can get to her blog by clicking on her blog from this page or you can go directly there by going to http://blog.drmary.net Thank you for reading.
With the snow coming down and the brisk air outside, I could have easily justified staying in and NOT going to church. I’m sure that God would have understood. After all, I’m getting ready for our l-o-n-g trip to Mexico, trying to catch up the office paperwork, packing food, crafts and more to make life sweet while we’re away. Even the Methodist minister, Roy Trueblood, had told me earlier this week that he didn’t expect to see me in church on Sunday, given all that I had to do.
Mother was on her way. I had sent a ride for her so that she could spend some time today with us. Maybe we could just stay in and do our nails or read to each other or …Once I saw her, I knew that I needed to take her to church. She made her hobbling way to the car and then up the steps of the church. I sighed, somehow wishing that I was still in my jammies and drinking tea in my kitchen. But, then the bells chimed outside the church and I noticed how beautiful they sang.
The service was long, but I kept Mom on track, pointing at the words for the prayers and for the songs that we were singing. The bell choir played two lovely solos and the vocal choir was keyed up, as well. When time for communion came they told me that they could bring it to Mother so she didn’t have to walk to the front. But, I know Mother, and it was important for her to make the painful effort, the effort to receive Jesus into her heart…then a dip of the bread in the juice and a crossing of herself proudly in front of the minister.
I was pressed not to tear up when I took MY communion still hanging onto her hand as she was walking away. And then we made it back to the pew. There was a woman singing a beautiful rendition of “Love Lifted Me”. To my surprise, Mother began singing along as the other parishoners walked to the front to take communion. She knew every word and EVERY word was important to her. She would sing a line, “When nothing else would do…” then she’d look over to me and say, “Listen! It REALLY did!” and then she’d continue singing…”LOVE LIFTED ME!” I cried.
Music can remind me of so many things. It can move me like nothing else, sometimes. There can be a grand sermon, a wonderful bible reading and sometimes, just sometimes…it’s the song that drives the message home to my heart. Love truly lived me, today and again, I thank God for having a moment with Mother.
We met our friends Jeanne and John Precup for lunch at the Ocean Pearl in Delta and ate too much Chinese food, as usual. It was a lovely day and that was even before the football game even STARTED!
I feel so blessed that I drug myself to church and that once there, love lifted me .
The gossip has begun! The Enquirer is hot on the trail of this saucy news scoop!
Dr. Mary got a call from her brother, Bill, who has long been the conscience of their family. **chuckle** “What’s the deal with Stefi’s picture of you and your guitar teacher on the blog!?” The cautious inference was that this picture was possibly, or rather probably inappropriate for public viewing and consumption considering her marital status. He suggested for the sake of her reputation, that she post an explanation so she wouldn’t end up in the same publicity predicament as Tiger Woods! So, here is a quick update and reference to her original love song, written for Fernando, called “O Fernando”.
Dr. Mary Kleinsorge has been in love with Ferenando Sor since she was 12 years old, when she listened to his beautiful guitar compositions well into the nights and dreamed of them making beautiful music together. She expected that one day he would hear the perfection and expression of her guitar. He would feel the music, HIS music, as it pulsed though her fingers and danced on the strings. He would be impressed with how well she could play his music and that he, too would be swept away on a cloud of musical notes that would land him with a love like no other….The video tells it, best. Her hopes for lasting musically passionate love were dashed when she learned that he had been dead for more than a hundred years!
Mary’s husband has been very understanding, just as Mary has been understanding about Sandra Bullock (and SHE’s still aLIVE!) ) Even so, she wants to assure everyone that, other than the affairs of the mind, there is nothing to worry about concerning Fernando….unless, of course, he rises up from the dead!
OK, for those who missed it the first time around almost a year ago, here is Dr. Mary’s “O Fernando” video.
I am so glad you have found my blog! The blog is dedicated to my music but also to my musings and other things happening in my life. I enjoy sharing with you! And of course I love to hear from you! Please write!
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) Even so, she wants to assure everyone that, other than the affairs of the mind, there is nothing to worry about concerning Fernando….unless, of course, he rises up from the dead!
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